One problematic mindset common in the workplace is one of judgment. When Amira, a WOTW Navigator, was at a director level, she lacked confidence in sharing ideas, both in meetings and one-on-one—and it showed. She received frequent feedback that she didn’t appear confident. Amira took the feedback seriously and went through a series of coaching and development assessments, even taking an improv class to begin developing the skills she needed to speak her mind. She began speaking up more at work, taking opportunities to show her confidence and correct others. Over time, the pendulum swung too far in the opposite direction, and she began receiving feedback that she sounded judgmental. 

Since Amira was in an HR role, she first brushed off the feedback with the assumption that people in HR aren’t well liked. After the second or third time receiving this feedback, she responded by saying, “Well, I am judging, because I am right!” She believed the feedback had more to do with her role or department than it did with her as an individual. Eventually, however, she realized it was actually her approach. She had overcorrected. Her mindset was that in order to be confident, she had to be right. She thought confidence meant being firm and aggressive. What finally started to shake her out of it was when a peer told her, “You state your point of view so passionately, it makes others feel like they can’t disagree with you.” Amira was in an advisory role, and if people couldn’t disagree with her, it put the team in jeopardy. 

Amira got coaching that there could be more to the story; there could be more going on than she was aware of. Instead of digging into being correct, maybe she could be more curious, allow other truths to be in the room, and really try to understand others’ perspectives before defending her point. Amira realized she could have confidence in her ideas while also being humble enough to see that there was something she didn’t know. 

This is an excellent example of where we start with women leaders at WOTW: if you begin from a mindset of curiosity, it will keep you on the right track. First, we help our women leaders define what they want to be confident in or where they want to be confident. We believe confidence and curiosity will always serve you well, helping you strike the right balance between confidence and humility. 

Demonstrating Curiosity

Strategies to benefit people in Amira’s situation would include identifying the pattern and then implementing some practical advice: specifically, it’s possible to get the same point across in a more or less abrasive way. One of the words I have people think about using to demonstrate humility is “puzzling,” followed by the phrase, “I wonder…” For example, they might say, “Oh, that’s puzzling to me. I wonder what that could look like, what that means, or why that is.” 

Then, I guide them to ask a question that demonstrates curiosity, such as:

• “What might be possible?”
• “What might that look like?”
•  “What might be at play here?” 
• “What might be holding us back?” 

Learning to Reframe

In my book, Reclaiming The Fire in Your Belly, I address how you can reframe and start to create different results in your life. It will help you name your own limiting mindsets and offer tools to reconnect with power and possibility. By naming what you’ve been feeling in your gut and your heart that you weren’t previously able to name, you can address it and, in the process, become empowered.

LEARN MORE ABOUT OUR WOMEN’S LEADERSHIP PROGRAMS

Accelerate your professional growth and executive presence with the WOTW Navigator program. This journey is designed to help women cultivate the vision and capabilities needed to succeed within their organizations.

Participants will gain access to:

• Custom development plan based on the McGuckin Method of Professional Development, including behavioral assessments, aspirations, and more
• Monthly 90-minute virtual learning sessions delivered by WOTW CEO, Audrey McGuckin, along with facilitated peer learning conversation, a proven impactful learning method
• Five customized 1:1 executive coaching sessions, aligned to the women leader’s PDP and the virtual learning sessions
• One ticket to the  Women’s Leadership Summit, a 1-day in person leadership event with the extended WOTW Community
• Exclusive access to research, thought leadership and practical development tools.

Connect with us now and take your career to the next level!